The rest of the world knew him as Norman. The son mentioned in the prior post's middle name is Norman in honor of him, my dad and his great-uncle. When you know 3 wonderful, godly men with same name you use it.
Last Saturday, at the age of 87 yrs and 11 months PaPaw died. People ask me if it was unexpected and I reply at almost 88 it should not have been a surprise but at almost 88 I kind of hoped he'd be around a little longer. It's not been easy. This man was my husband's grandfather and I in many ways knew and loved him better than my own grandparents. He was part of my life for almost 20 years.
When we were talking to the pastor about the service he asked if anyone had anything to share at the service. My heart knew I wanted to honor his memory and his life but as the "in-law" I hesitated. I waited until it seemed that everyone else said they didn't think they'd be able to speak and I offered to. My husband and the pastor asked me the night before if I knew what I was going to say and I said "No, well sort of, I mean, I will." I knew what was pressing on my heart was PaPaw's quiet way. My heart was focused on his few words. I started to look at Proverbs and found nothing. In a concordance I found a verse about how we would all be held to account for our words. I thought about James and how our tongue is hard to tame. But none of that seemed right. The morning of the funeral I sat in the hotel breakfast room and started to type. A verse came into my head "If I speak...but have not love I am but a clanging cymbal." and the Holy Spirit provided me with a tribute that honored a man who meant so much to many. Here it is...
We have said frequently in the last few days “PaPaw was a man of few words.” Then as we sat in him room, remembering him, we added “PaPaw was a man of few words and many ties.”
Did he have few words because he had nothing to say? Because he didn’t care? Because he wasn’t paying attention to what was going on in the world around him?
No to all those things. In PaPaw’s quiet way you still felt loved, accepted, cared for and being in the presence of one who was very wise.
When I first met PaPaw almost 20 years ago, I remember one of the first things I noticed was his quiet way. It was in stark contrast to my need for words, need for conversation. I remember smiling and feeling delight at the sound of his voice when he spoke, especially when he spoke directly to me. I knew he’d noticed me, he’d paid attention. He didn’t have to ask a million questions to decide if he would accept me or love me, he just did.
He would answer my questions though when I couldn’t stand the silence. I wish I’d asked more but sometimes you felt he had a limit to the words he’d use in a day and you didn’t want them to run out.
I’ve been thinking the last few days “Why was he so quiet? The man had an interesting life, a great mind, knew the Word, had wisdom to share. Why was he so quiet?” And as I typed this morning a familiar verse came to me.
“Though I speak with tongues of men and angels, and have not charity (love), I become as a sound brass or a tinkling cymbal.” (1 Corinthians 13:1 KJV)
“Love never gives up
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn't strut.
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.” (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 -The Message)
And PaPaw loved. He had a servants heart and he quietly showed his love in many ways. He showed his love for his country when he joined the army and served honorably for 3 years. He showed his love all the times he quietly went to church to fix something that needed to be fixed, never complaining or telling anyone what he did. He showed his love in the hours he worked in the shop, using his hands to make things not to sell but to give to others. He showed his love on fishing trips with little boys. He showed his love sweeping the kitchen floor every morning not out of obligation or duty but it’s what he did. He showed his love coming to Iowa
“We don’t see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly, just as he knows us.” (1 Corinthians 13:12 –The Message)
He loved because he knew the love of the Lord who made him. PaPaw was a light that reflected that love to everyone who knew him. And a few short days ago, he got to hear the words “Well done, good and faithful servant.” and then had a joyful reunion with family and that little girl who was his “sweetheart.” So while I cry because I will miss his steadfast presence, I rejoice because I know where he is today. Love you, PaPaw.
Norman Walters Strunk
1924-2012