"I can't do it"

This has been my mantra, my lament, my crying out for about the past week. Maybe longer. I am not sure. I have said it when the kids' teachers said they need to learn "higher order thinking" in mathematics (NOT my strength) in the next 7-8 weeks. I have said it when I lost my car keys and I called the kids in sick for school one day (I wasn't going to share that, but what is a blog unless it attempts to be real?). I have said it when my temporary Florida nursing license expired without notice and I didn't know it until the day I went for my prescreening appointment at my new job. I said it when the loneliness has gripped me so tight I wasn't sure I could stand it much more.
On Friday I had one of those days that I think is another children's book but I can't find it. It would go something like "This happened and I was so mad. Then this happened and I was so happy." That really doesn't capture it though. If you could draw that, it would be just up and down lines. What it really looks like is a scribbly line all over a big white page.
I am all about processing and seeking what God is trying to tell me in all this and here is what I feel like He has spoke into my heart this weekend. "You are right, Joy, you can't. But I CAN." This requires utter, total dependence. But He has shown me over and over again that what I can't do, He can and does.
He can work in my children's hearts and minds and help them understand the concepts I don't know how to explain. He can redeem a day of being stuck home with a time to read books together and just chill out. He can help me find the keys behind the dresser. He can have the Florida Board of Nursing tell me that they can get me a permanent license in 3-5 days and not the usual 30 day minimum. He can take the scribbles and make them into a masterpiece. PRAISE HIM.
So the Bible verse that was given to me at church today says it best:
"So he said to me, ....'Not by (Joy's) might nor by (Joy's) power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty." Zechariah 4:6 (NIV)
Thanks for reading....
joy