Rip Current

I had a bit of an attitude at the moment and I started walking into the surf.  My "goal" was to check out the section of beach my husband had drug us to with 2 surf boards, 5 boogie boards, 6 towels, 1 beach chair and 1 beach bag in tow.  He had determined we needed to be far from everyone else and I was "frustrated."  So I dropped my stuff, took off the cover up and began walking headlong.  Not thinking, not surveying the situation.  Just walking with a bit of attitude. 
As I get a little further out I realize the water is a bit deeper than I care to be in and, whoa, now I can't touch.  Better go back.  Oh crap. I am not going anywhere but further out.  Rip current.  Ok, don't panic.  Never panic.  Swim parallel to the shore until you get out of it.  They say it won't take you to the Bahamas. Not too sure about that right now.Waves aren't too bad but I am not getting anywhere but further from Steve and the kids.  Where is the bottom?  If I could push off the bottom it would feel better.  How deep is this water?  6 feet? 10 feet?  I don't know.  Suddenly there's this surfer.  He says to me "Do you need help?"  I smile to show I am not panicking because no one wants to help a panicked person.  They'll drown you.  And I say "Yes."  I can see he's standing and so I say "I want to get where you are."  So  he tells be to grab the board and he flings me to the part where I can stand.  The water is still moving swift and it's tough to get to shore but at least I can stand.  As I get to the shore, the life guard is walking up to me to see if I am ok.  And my husband is asking me what I am thinking walking straight into a rip current. 
There's lots of analogies to be made to my walk with Jesus in this scenario.  The "attitude" and doing my own thing gets me in trouble everytime.  The feeling of deep waters. "He reached down from on high and took hold of me (or sends an angel surfer); he drew me out of deep waters."  (Psalm 18:16) The deep water is where you can't don't know your surroundings and where the bottom is and panic can set in pretty quickly. Believe me if something had swam by me the panic would have set in and I would have been done. 
I am also reminded of the fact that He rescues me even when I get myself into the pickle.  Just like He did for Peter in the garden when He was being arrested.  Peter cut the soldiers ear off and Peter was seconds from his own execution.  Jesus didn't look at him and say "What did you do? Now what are you going to do?"  No he fixed the ear and the Bible doesn't mention the soldier or the ear again. 
But what is really getting me is the lingering fear.  I couldn't go back in the water that day.  I didn't really want to the next day.  I didn't want the kids to either.  It brought me to tears more than once and I couldn't really put words to it.  It seems silly but the fear is strong.  This is the recurring theme in my world.  I am so thankful for all the times my Savior has rescued me.  I will point to Him and give Him the glory every time.  But when I look forward the fear grips me.  I don't want to go there again so I am immobilized from doing anything.  I don't trust myself.  I am afraid. Fear of failure, fear of making mistakes, fear of being back in the same stupid pit or deep water again.  So now what?
If you are me, you sit, you think about it, cry about it, lay it out before him and open up the Bible. Search the concordance for "fear" (again!) and bind a few verses to your heart. 

• "Telling you, 'You're my servant, serving on my side.  I've picked you.  I haven't dropped you.' Don't panic. I'm with you.  There's no need to fear for I'm your God.  I'll give you strength.  I'll help you. I'll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you." Isaiah 41:10 (The Msg) 
• "God met me more than halfway,  he freed me from all my anxious fears." Psalm 34:4 (The Msg)
• "Save  your fear for God, who holds your entire life-body and soul-in his hands." Luke 12:5 (The Msg)

I love the Word.  I love the peace, comfort and confidence it gives me.  I pray it blesses you too today. 
Fear only God,
joy