It was not my plan to expand on this but it's been put on my heart that this might be important to some who are very important to me. And I assume God showed me this and placed it on my heart for a reason.
I don't know alot about Bible study but I know that the principle of the "first mention" is pretty important. It means if you are studying a certain word, topic, name of God, whatever, look first to see the context of the first mention in the Bible. I think the first mention of the threshing floor is significant.
"When they reached the threshing floor of Atad, near the Jordan, they lamented loudly and bitterly; and there Joseph observed a seven-day period of mourning for his father." Genesis 50:9
Here is the context-Joseph was the youngest of Jacob. His brothers hated him, sold him into slavery, and told Jacob he was dead. Joseph ultimately prospered and became a major figure in Egypt, his brothers and father came to him during a famine in Canaan (they didn't know it was him), fulfilling a dream Joseph had before. Joseph welcomed them, forgave them and set them up in Egypt. Then Jacob, aka Israel dies. This is where we land. After Jacob dies, it takes 40 days to embalm and then 70 days for the Egyptians to mourn. After all that Joseph goes to the Pharaoh and say's "My father wanted be buried in Cananan. Can I have your permission to bring him there?" (that's my paraphrasing) The Pharaoh says yes and so a large group sets out for Canaan.
And here is where we land on verse 9 "When they reached the threshing floor of Atad, near the Jordan, they lamented loudly and bitterly; and there Joseph observed a seven-day period of mourning for his father."
Have you ever felt the need for a good cry but said "I will do that later. This is not the appropriate place to lose it." I have. In my heart I see Joseph, feet heavy, heart heavier, the knowledge of the loss of his father becoming more real the closer he gets to his homeland. Then he gets home to his "safe place" and he lays down and loses it. Without apology, he allows himself time to finally mourn this loss. To grieve. To lay it all out. To stop denying that it's ok and he'd be all right.
When we have a loss, God knows it hurts. He didn't build us to blindly say "It's God's will and I am ok with that." He built us with dreams, hopes, desires and emotions.
But I know that because Joseph wept on that threshing floor, it means that God had a purpose for his grief, his hurt, his mourning. I wonder if in that time he didn't just mourn his father's death but also the time he lost from him when he was in Egypt, the betrayal of his brothers, the life in Canaan he lost. Maybe in that time Joseph drew closer to God, felt his love and tenderness. Maybe in that time he learned the grace of God and he learned forgiveness.
I know that later on in the chapter Joseph's brothers look at each other and say "Great, our father is dead. What's going to keep him from killing us now?" (again I paraphrase) So they go before Joseph with a prepared speech and Joseph responds with an often quoted verse "Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don't be afraid. I will provide for you and your children." And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them. (Genesis 50:19) I wonder if Joseph's heart was prepared for that on the threshing floor.
A time of mourning is the first mention of the threshing floor. Accept it, receive what God wants you to learn about him and yourself in that time. Don't rush through it. Remember, "it doesn't go on forever."
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Threshed
Spent sometime looking up at how it God used it in the Old Testament. There are many references and I would love to talk about all of them but that's not what I have been thinking about.
I read a verse in Isaiah that was new to me this week and has given me comfort-"Caraway is not threshed with a sledge, nor is a cartwheel rolled over cummin; caraway is beaten out with a rod, and cummin with a stick. Grain must be ground to make bread; so one does not go on threshing it forever. Though he drives the wheels of his threshing cart over it, his horses do not grind it." (Isaiah 28:27-28) What that means is that first of all we are not all threshed the same way. Hallelujah! It means that God knows we are individuals and he doesn't just thresh and press us just for the sake of doing it. It means He has a unique and special plan for us. It has an ultimate purpose and "it doesn't go on forever." It is not a beating or a discipline. It is God's way of getting rid of the bad and bringing out the best in us.
What I always remember about the threshing floor itself occurs in 2 Samuel 24:18-25. David needs to build an altar to stop a plague that is killing his people. The worst of it is that the people were stricken because of something David had done. Not them. So God told him were to go, what to buy and to build an altar. So he bought a threshing floor and there he built an altar. And he made the sacrifices and the plague stopped. That's the short version. I wonder at the time if David wondered "Why a threshing floor?" But God is cool like that because in that spot is where God told David's son Solomon to build His temple.
I love the connection. From that painful place, He is building a beautiful dwelling place for Himself in me too. My task is to to keep making those sacrifices to Him, to keep giving Him praise. To offer back to Him what He has done in me.
This has given me hope and I am able to more joyfully accept the place where I am.
in Christ,
joy
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
A New Thing
I have a song in my head that we sang at our church in Iowa. "God is doin a new thing, a new thing in my life..." It's got a great tune and when I was there and we sang it I would bounce and smile and think "Yes, a new thing is good. He is doing new things in my life." I didn't know what those were but I knew that the new had to be better than the old things I was trying to accomplish. Let me just say it looked good from a distance.
Fast forward to 1300 miles away God has definately given me a new thing. What I didn't know is that when He did I would look at him and say "What? What do you want me to do with this? This is not what I thought you created me to be. I don't know what this is."
Let me see if I can give a little background. When we lived in Iowa, I felt that I was following His plan for my life. I was trying to see where he was leading and I was trying to follow. I was in a job I felt like I was made for. I was on the school board and I felt like He laid that on my heart years befor I ran. It was a stepping stone to the next thing I thought He was bringing me to in some form of public service. I was a part of a strong support network of family and friends who were God with skin on to me more times than I can even say. I was in a leadership class and a mentoring relationship. All good stuff!!! Stuff I did not want to leave or let go of.
In hindsight I can see that the job was consuming me-my time, my energy and emotions. It was fast becoming apparent that in my current state I could not devote to the school board what it needed. My private struggles were becoming to big to even share with those closest to me. There was a disconnect between who I was a mom, a wife, a sister, a friend and who I felt like on the inside. I know that my heart was genuine in love for everyone but it was also hurting and gettting good at hiding. I know that my motivations for what I did were well intended and truly believed I was following God's path but will confess that pride and my need to be credible and admired for my accomplishments were also a part of it as well.
So like my computer yesterday, I got "reinstalled." Basically a blank slate. The necessities are there-Steve and the kids. God still shows me He is the power source. But everything else needs to be reinstalled. It didn't reboot with all viruses and malaware that were slowing it down but it didn't reboot with the programs I need either to make it run the way we need it. I have had to rebuild it program by program. In my life, I am being rebuilt program by program.
Which brings me back to the "new thing." While this move itself has been a whole "new thing," this time it feels personal. I just started a job which is good, there are lots of people with out them so I feel blessed to have found something so quickly. I haven't started on the unit yet. That will come this week hopefully. Out of all the hospitals in the county, this is the best. Of all the ER's this is the by far the busiest. But here's the problem. I'm not an adult nurse. I take care of kids. That is why I became a nurse. That is what I have done for the past 10 years and that is the last thing of my "identity" I am trying to hold on to with a death grip. And I hear God saying "You need to do this." But with tears flowing and fear overwhelming me I say "Why!?! I don't know what to do there. It's not who I am."
But it's who He says I am right now. I imagine He's also telling me "Your job is not your identity either." Sigh...this is hard.
This is all a part of the journey. So I will trust him and I will pray "Show me the right path, O LORD; point out the road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you." (Psalm 25:4-5)
Thanks for accompanying me on the journey....
joy
Fast forward to 1300 miles away God has definately given me a new thing. What I didn't know is that when He did I would look at him and say "What? What do you want me to do with this? This is not what I thought you created me to be. I don't know what this is."
Let me see if I can give a little background. When we lived in Iowa, I felt that I was following His plan for my life. I was trying to see where he was leading and I was trying to follow. I was in a job I felt like I was made for. I was on the school board and I felt like He laid that on my heart years befor I ran. It was a stepping stone to the next thing I thought He was bringing me to in some form of public service. I was a part of a strong support network of family and friends who were God with skin on to me more times than I can even say. I was in a leadership class and a mentoring relationship. All good stuff!!! Stuff I did not want to leave or let go of.
In hindsight I can see that the job was consuming me-my time, my energy and emotions. It was fast becoming apparent that in my current state I could not devote to the school board what it needed. My private struggles were becoming to big to even share with those closest to me. There was a disconnect between who I was a mom, a wife, a sister, a friend and who I felt like on the inside. I know that my heart was genuine in love for everyone but it was also hurting and gettting good at hiding. I know that my motivations for what I did were well intended and truly believed I was following God's path but will confess that pride and my need to be credible and admired for my accomplishments were also a part of it as well.
So like my computer yesterday, I got "reinstalled." Basically a blank slate. The necessities are there-Steve and the kids. God still shows me He is the power source. But everything else needs to be reinstalled. It didn't reboot with all viruses and malaware that were slowing it down but it didn't reboot with the programs I need either to make it run the way we need it. I have had to rebuild it program by program. In my life, I am being rebuilt program by program.
Which brings me back to the "new thing." While this move itself has been a whole "new thing," this time it feels personal. I just started a job which is good, there are lots of people with out them so I feel blessed to have found something so quickly. I haven't started on the unit yet. That will come this week hopefully. Out of all the hospitals in the county, this is the best. Of all the ER's this is the by far the busiest. But here's the problem. I'm not an adult nurse. I take care of kids. That is why I became a nurse. That is what I have done for the past 10 years and that is the last thing of my "identity" I am trying to hold on to with a death grip. And I hear God saying "You need to do this." But with tears flowing and fear overwhelming me I say "Why!?! I don't know what to do there. It's not who I am."
But it's who He says I am right now. I imagine He's also telling me "Your job is not your identity either." Sigh...this is hard.
This is all a part of the journey. So I will trust him and I will pray "Show me the right path, O LORD; point out the road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you." (Psalm 25:4-5)
Thanks for accompanying me on the journey....
joy
Thursday, April 8, 2010
I do not want to forget
So Moses said to Aaron, "Take a jar and put an omer of manna in it. Then place it before the LORD to be kept for the generations to come." Exodus 16:33
I was unpacking today and came across list of things we "needed" before we could make this move. I had made the list intentionally about 2 months ago. God had provided so much up to that point and yet I knew there was much that still needed to happen. I believed he would provide. I wrote them down so that I could look back as I did today and see it as a reminder. Every need we had was met. Certainly not always in the way I expected it to be, but it was met.
When I was clearly seeing God's hand move things into place for us, I knew that I did not want to forget. I had read about how Moses told Aaron to take some of the manna and keep it in a jar which was kept with the Ark of the Covenant. It's purpose was to remind generations of what God had provided for them in the desert. This was a very good idea as the Israelites had a terrible memory for such things on their own.
So today, as I had hoped to do, I pulled together some well timed, hope giving cards, Bible verses, the list and a couple of small reminders and put it into a vase. It is my jar of manna and I hope to use it to show the next generation how God provided for us. I do not want to forget.
I was unpacking today and came across list of things we "needed" before we could make this move. I had made the list intentionally about 2 months ago. God had provided so much up to that point and yet I knew there was much that still needed to happen. I believed he would provide. I wrote them down so that I could look back as I did today and see it as a reminder. Every need we had was met. Certainly not always in the way I expected it to be, but it was met.
When I was clearly seeing God's hand move things into place for us, I knew that I did not want to forget. I had read about how Moses told Aaron to take some of the manna and keep it in a jar which was kept with the Ark of the Covenant. It's purpose was to remind generations of what God had provided for them in the desert. This was a very good idea as the Israelites had a terrible memory for such things on their own.
So today, as I had hoped to do, I pulled together some well timed, hope giving cards, Bible verses, the list and a couple of small reminders and put it into a vase. It is my jar of manna and I hope to use it to show the next generation how God provided for us. I do not want to forget.
Friday, April 2, 2010
My Redeemer Lives
I know that my Redeemer lives,
and that in the end he will stand upon the earth.~Job 19:25
This verse came up again this week. The verse always seems to come up at a point my life when I need comfort or guidance. My sisters have shared similar experiences. Of course it is appropriate being Easter and all. But there's more to it.
It is my dad's favorite verse. And my dad died 8 years ago this month.
The verse meant so much he had it put on his headstone. He never expressly said why and at that time in my life, I regret that it never occured to me to ask him why. He never shared a story to go with it or of a time when that verse gave him comfort or peace. At least he never told me.
I know my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. Period, end of discussion. I would like to think that is the "concreteness" of the verse that he could hold on to. It states a fact, a testimony and it does not waver. It does not wonder and it does not guess.
I know my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. It is a personal testimony. It is something you need to claim for your own.
I know my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. This is hard. A girl does not like to think her dad needs a Redeemer. She does not want to think that he needs a defender, to be redeemed. But he did and he knew it but through that he was saved and he knew that too.
I know my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. He did not waste time worshiping a dead guy or a stale religion. It is a relationship with a living Jesus. ("He lives!...I just talked to him this morning!"-My Redeemer Lives by Nicole C Mullen)
I know my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. When all is said and done, when all the trials and triumphs are over, there will be an end. Its just life. It could be our own physical death or Jesus is coming back. But this life, this world, will not go on forever. I know my dad thought about his own end. We talked about it. He did not want to die alone. He didn't.
I know my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. Jesus stood on this earth once and he will be back. Not maybe he'll be back. Not I hope he comes back. Not if but when.
I don't know if my dad thought all those things, maybe he did and so much more. But I hope that his testimony helps to remind you what this Easter season is all about. It did for me.
joy
To listen to My Redeemer lives:
http://www.tangle.com/view_video?viewkey=44600c0cf44bb9df58b9
and that in the end he will stand upon the earth.~Job 19:25
This verse came up again this week. The verse always seems to come up at a point my life when I need comfort or guidance. My sisters have shared similar experiences. Of course it is appropriate being Easter and all. But there's more to it.
It is my dad's favorite verse. And my dad died 8 years ago this month.
The verse meant so much he had it put on his headstone. He never expressly said why and at that time in my life, I regret that it never occured to me to ask him why. He never shared a story to go with it or of a time when that verse gave him comfort or peace. At least he never told me.
I know my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. Period, end of discussion. I would like to think that is the "concreteness" of the verse that he could hold on to. It states a fact, a testimony and it does not waver. It does not wonder and it does not guess.
I know my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. It is a personal testimony. It is something you need to claim for your own.
I know my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. This is hard. A girl does not like to think her dad needs a Redeemer. She does not want to think that he needs a defender, to be redeemed. But he did and he knew it but through that he was saved and he knew that too.
I know my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. He did not waste time worshiping a dead guy or a stale religion. It is a relationship with a living Jesus. ("He lives!...I just talked to him this morning!"-My Redeemer Lives by Nicole C Mullen)
I know my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. When all is said and done, when all the trials and triumphs are over, there will be an end. Its just life. It could be our own physical death or Jesus is coming back. But this life, this world, will not go on forever. I know my dad thought about his own end. We talked about it. He did not want to die alone. He didn't.
I know my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. Jesus stood on this earth once and he will be back. Not maybe he'll be back. Not I hope he comes back. Not if but when.
I don't know if my dad thought all those things, maybe he did and so much more. But I hope that his testimony helps to remind you what this Easter season is all about. It did for me.
joy
To listen to My Redeemer lives:
http://www.tangle.com/view_video?viewkey=44600c0cf44bb9df58b9
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