When your child's not like the others...

Let me tell you about my daughter.  She is the only girl with 3 brothers.  She is a blond haired, blue-eyed, tall, and beautiful by the world's definition.  But as beautiful she is on the outside she is 100 times more beautiful on the inside.  She is loving, kind, empathetic, caring, giving, sweet by nature.  She makes friends everywhere she goes.  Others are drawn to her sweet light.
And this morning I sit here in tears for her.  As a mom one of the hardest things to hear is "Your child isn't like the other kids."  To keep in in perspective, she's not sick, she doesn't have an incurable disease.  I know parents who have dealt with far worse with their kids.  I know that.  My head knows that.  For some reason, after a meeting with her teacher this morning my heart hurts.
She has a language processing disorder, which basically means she doesn't process words spoken or read, the way a "normal" child does.  From kindergarten through 2nd grade a child learns to read, after that they read to learn.  If they are not processing well they fall behind pretty quickly.  She also has trouble knowing that her addition facts are the same every time and don't need to be recalculated.  She has memorized very few.  She has NO confidence in math.
I am hearing the teacher talk about "academic services" in addition to the speech/language therapy she gets already.  And words like "resource room,"  "held back," "special needs," fly through my head.  And I get scared.  I don't want this for my daughter.  I want her to fly through a passage and answer all the questions correctly.  I want to be able to ask her "What's 2+3?" and have her answer "5" confidently every time and not "4" or "2" or wait for her to do it on her fingers.
And because I am a mom I take all of this on me.  I go clear back to when I carried her inside of me.  I should have taken the stupid vitamins. The grief and stress I felt after dad died and my increased cortisol levels affected her developing brain.  Didn't I talk to her enough as an infant?  Was I so sad I forgot to?  Did I work to much?  Did having her younger brother born 20 months after her affect hinder my ability to monitor her development?   Did she have a good daycare?  Did she spend too much time in daycare?  Was it too much time in the car going with me to work 45 minutes each way?  Too much TV?  Should the fact that she could not remember her colors until preschool clue me in to a bigger problem and was there more I should have done then?  How long did she have hearing loss before she finally got tubes?  How long did she have loss before she got the 2nd and then 3rd set of tubes?  What could I have been/done differently so that my sweet girl would not have to struggle now?   My heart breaks.
I know I can't change the past.  I am scared and intimidated when I look at all the time and resources she is going to need to hopefully get caught up.  I believe a lie that I have failed miserably thus far, how can I help her at all going forward?  I am not equipped.  I don't have time to devote one on one with 3 other kids that need my attention after school too.  How am I going to do this?  I can't.  Right?
The Truth:
Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am."  Philippians 4:13 The Message
I don't feel it right now but I have to believe that God who made me and made my girl didn't make a mistake in how how he made us and he didn't make a mistake giving her to me to raise.  And she and I can and will make it through any thing.  I will remember all the wonderful things he made when he made her.  I know he will use that heart of gold for his kingdom.  My job is to protect that spirit.  To show her and build on the strengths she has focus less on the weaknesses.  
I would covet your prayers for strength, wisdom and patience as we navigate through this.  Thanks for hearing me this morning.  
Blessings,
joy